Free The Espaliered One!

Espalier. That technique where you restrict the growth of fruit trees to a two dimensional flat plane.

Why?

How would you like it? (Admittedly it is a Franco-Italian word, but I don't hold it against them. It serves us right for adopting it).

Instead of being able to move your limbs around in any which way you choose, I'll strap your arms to a broom handle across your shoulders like a crucifix, and put each of your legs in braces so that you can only walk like Frankenstein's monster. Oh, and I want you to be just as productive.

You don't like it do you? Thought as much. So why do it to fruit trees? How can they possibly like it?

OK, so an espaliered fruit tree can make a pretty partition on your allotment, and it takes some skill to get them to grow in that flat plane way. Of course this is coupled with that humanoid gratification in yet again managing to tame some element of nature.

However, an espaliered tree needs far more maintenance to keep its shape than a free growing fruit tree needs any day. So why bother? As King Canute discovered, you have to work in sympathy with nature rather than against it.

There is an espaliered fruit tree in my local garden centre, and I intend to mount a one-man protest there over the Bank holiday week-end.

Comrades of the soil, I implore thee to join me as we endeavour to "free the espaliered one!"