Saturday 23 February 2008

Brand Allotment

It never ceases to amaze me how many designer fashion labels there are on the high street and how the names are dreamt up in the first place. For instance, my kids have been known to wear a name called Bench. Now, from what I can detect, this is a well known brand which tends to be worn by the young and trendy. Nothing wrong with that, but you won't see me sporting this particular logo.

But why Bench? Just to be clear before I go on, I'm not just picking on Bench as there are others I could equally single out such as Converse, Diesel, Rampage, and Zero to name but four. It's just galling to think that some bright young marketing upstart has yet again managed to cajole some drab city suit with an unspent budget into investing my pension fund into some concept dreamt up whilst under the influence of a bad batch of wacky backy.

To me a bench is the simplest, most unsophisticated item of furniture currently residing on my allotment. It comprises of three pieces of wood. One long piece to sit on, and two shorter bits at either end that support the long bit. I know this because I cut the pieces of wood and assembled them myself in about five minutes. Why would anyone decide that this image of abject simplicity would appeal to anyone, let alone young trendies. All we know, and this is what the marketeers proclaim, is that it has mass appeal and it works. It's just that I really don't get it.

Now, I think the fashion industry are missing a massive trick. There is a whole regiment of words out there that are ripe for plucking. These words have simply been ignored, and their time might just have arrived. Brace yourself. Are you sitting down, preferably on a bench? What I am of course talking about is vegetables. Why has no-one ever introduced a fashion range called carrot or beetroot, or even cabbage? Straight away these words, I'm sure you agree, conjure up images of shape, colour and texture. They may even make you think of nature, gardens, vegetable plots and good health.

Surely these are much better associations for your clothing brand than simple school canteen furniture. Sadly I fear not, if your target market is the yoof. These vegetable brand names will only remind them of when they were small children and the pressure they were put under to eat their greens. Now they are moody teenagers they are permitted to despise their greens, and refuse to eat them. They certainly don't want to be associated with them via their hoody "asparagus" logo.

Maybe these vegetable logos would work better with the middle aged. Could they be the saviour to the ailing high street woes? I can just picture them in Marks & Spencer.

Fortunately the fashion industry are not complete vegetable philistines. There is that Mango label to name the solitary one. They at least seem to be sold on the healthy produce label idea. It's got to start somewhere.

What would I choose? Rhubarb. Now that's a t-shirt I would wear.

Labels: