Rain Stops Growth

I don't want to mention the rain. It's like asking someone if they are still breathing. Of course they are otherwise they wouldn't be stood there looking at you. The minutiae of conversation never gets that detailed. It's the same with the rain. Of course it's raining. It has been raining since May, and will rain for the rest of July. August can be thundery and rainy, so it will rain in August. Then September will come, the nights will start to draw in, the kids will return to school, and then you'll start asking people what they want for Christmas. We've not had a summer, we're not going to have one, so get used to it.

The allotment is having a mental breakdown. It doesn't like all water and no sun. Its not natural and it has to stop. The courgettes, in deference to the season of leather on willow, have decided to turn into cricket balls. They have water, but they need the sun to grow. They don't usually expect this much water at this time of year so they take in what they can, but they have been taking in what they can for six weeks. Who can blame them, they weren't to know about the impending monsoon. The consequences of their six week H2O binge has led to them being rejected and thrown on the compost heap - the ultimate untimely end for all bingers.

The potatoes are thriving. They think they are in the Irish bogs before the Great Potato Famine of 1845, without the blight. I've already had to reassure them that they won't be abandoned, as I am not emigrating to America as part of a peasant clearance programme. These are the best potato yields I have ever had in the few years I have been growing them. I would expect to get to Christmas on what I am digging up at the moment.

The reason for all this inclemency? Well the BBC blames the Jet Steam. Apparently, this conveyor belt of strong winds high in the atmosphere has steered a series of low pressure systems towards the British Isles rather than to their usual Icelandic destination. I wonder if Bjork has had anything to do with this as she seems to be on tour at the moment - does the rain follow her around? Anyway, as a result, the 'Azores High', which often visits our shores at this time of year bringing the pleasant summer sunshine, has been kept at bay. So unless the Jet Stream buckles and heads back north again we may have to get used to more of the same.

Great! I suspect this summer will find its way into British folklore, just as the summer of 1976 did for its long dry spell. How things change.